Last Updated on 2003-02-24

FAQ

11. What do you think about President Putin?

The Russians have a formula for how their leaders are chosen: Bald, hairy, bald, hairy. Think about it, every bald Russian leader was proceeded and preceded by a hairy leader, and every hairy leader was surrounded by a bald leader. Lenin - bald. Stalin - hairy. Khruschev - bald again. Brezhnev, Andropov, Chernenko, Gorbachev, Yelstin. Hairy, bald, hairy, bald, hairy. Which brings us to Putin. According to custom, he should be bald. And he is, but he does the comb-over. So, underneath, he is the right president for Russia. Externally, he's willing to groom himself so as to be palatable to the West.